Friday, October 25, 2013

You Stole What From Where?

I stole something from the Sheriff's office.

You read that right. The Sheriff's office.

It was not intentional.

I went to the Sheriff's office a few days ago. Not going to tell you which Sheriff's office, so they don't come and arrest me. I was requesting a document from them - ironically, an affidavit that I have no criminal record.

The nice lady said it would take her a few minutes to produce the document, so naturally I searched for something to read. First thing I picked up was the local city magazine, and breezed through the features extolling the 'burb's virtues and wonderfulness lifestyle. Plus a few ads for the nice smiles local dentists could give you, swimming pools, and how to gain new friends through breast augmentation.

Finished the city promotional, so went in search of something else to read. The only other choice was a copy of Cooking Light magazine. Why not? I've been trying to learn to cook more meals because our rule is one cooks, the other cleans. And since Donna-Lane does most of the cooking, I do most of the ...

It was quite a good magazine, lots of recipes, lots of ingredients I now know what they are and what they taste like. In fact, I've decided to order an online subscription - only $12 for the first year of 12 issues. Such a deal! Here's the link if you want to order for yourself -

Guess I was absorbed in the recipes when the nice lady came out with my documents - in triplicate. I immediately turned my attention to her ... and completely forgot I had the magazine in my hand, along with a couple of other documents I'd brought with me.

I did not realize I still had the magazine until I got home.

Could not believe I pilfered a publication, and started wondering if they had me on camera and I was headed for the pokey.

So that night, I put on my all-black clothes, got a Halloween mask, broke into the Sheriff's office, and returned the magazine.

Okay, not quite. Since I had gone to the Sheriff's office late on a Friday, and I left on the weekend for a conference in a city far, far away (not saying what country), I had to wait until I returned to the place where the Sheriff's office is located.

I took the magazine back a couple hours ago - with the intention of apologizing to the receptionist, but there was no one there, and another nice lady was helping a family at the window so did not want to interrupt them. I placed the magazine on the table and tip-toed out the door.

Just hope they don't rescind my not-a-crook affidavit.

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