Monday, August 18, 2014

Come into my parlor ...

Flies bug me, especially when we're eating. Other times I don't mind just shooing them away, but stay off our food!

Fortunately, I've been refining my fly-killing skills. My hands have become lethal weapons.

Here's the technique:

For some reason, even though they have hundreds of eyes, flies seem to have a blind spot directly above them. Through hours and hours of observation (I know, I should be spending that time on something valuable, like Facebook, right?) ... I've noticed that flies tend to takeoff vertically - right into their blind spot!

So carefully hold your hands, palms facing, about 3-6 inches above the fly. (Works best if they are on a flat surface, but not totally necessary.) When you quickly slap your hands together, the fly will fly straight into them.

The other day, I didn't even have to slap my hands. A fly was on the back of my left hand. I cupped my right hand (above him in the blind spot) and ever-so-slowly lowered my hand until I had engulfed and smothered him.

I have about a 90% success rate, according to Donna-Lane. Though often they are just stunned, so you may have to finish them off with your foot ... D-L prefers to put them out of their misery; she's much more compassionate than I. I say that a fly's entire life is misery! I'd rather leave them on the ground, squirming and squealing, sending out messages to all the flies within hearing distance that our patio and apartment is a Death Star to them. "Turn back! Stay away! Danger, danger, Fly Robinson."

Maybe I'll hire myself out as a professional fly-sassin.

No comments:

Post a Comment