Wednesday, February 17, 2016

You, Too, Can Run for President

There are 1,560 candidates for US President, according to the Federal Elections Commission (FEC) list of those who filed Form 2 (

1,560 of those candidates will NOT be the next President.

Not all of the candidates are legitimate. (Some folks might argue that none of them are legitimate to lead, and I would tend to agree.)

Living overseas, I have observed the Presidential race as somewhat entertaining ... until I realize that one of these clowns will actually be the next decider-in-chief of the allegedly "free" world (it's hard to see it as free when the NSA and other government agencies spy on everyone's communications and free speech / dissent are being systematically stifled).

One of those running for US President is Bippy the Clown. Other entertainment candidates include cinematic pugilist Rocky Balboa, singer Taylor Swift, Kermit Frog, Forrest Gump ("Run, Forrest, run"), Jason Borne (an apparent misspelling of Bourne), the Ghost of Christmas Present, pirate Jack Sparrow, and the perennial candidate, Mickey Mouse.

One of my personal favorites is Francis J. (Frank) Underwood of the "House of Cards" television series, whose campaign slogans include "Anything for America" and "FU16."

I would also be inclined to vote for the all-wise Yoda, though not Darth Vader.

Dr. Jekyll is running on a personality platform, as is his alter-ego, Mr. Hyde (Justin Nicholas).

Carrie Nation is running on for the Prohibition Party nomination, and Jeffrey Dahmer is seeking funds from the private prison lobbyists.

Candidate No. 1128 is Vladimir Putin. (I think if his name were actually on the ballot, he might come in the top 3). No. 1426 is Kim Jong Un - apparently if he is not elected, he'll nuke the United States. 

There's a soft drink in the race - Doctor Pepper. Four dogs, a goat, a dragon, and Buddy the Cat.

In addition to Donald Trump, there's Donald Tramp and Tronald Dump.

There are three Bushes (Read My Lips, No New Bushes) - Jeb, Jorge, and Willita. Plus a "Bushdid 9/11." And three of my apparent cousins: Jack Lynn Adams, Paul R. Adams, and Thomas Alan Adams.

And Bill Clinton? Thought he was ineligible for a third term.

One name not on the FEC list, which surprises me, as she is on the Republican Party primary ballot in Texas - Elisabeth Gray. Who is Elisabeth Gray? Sure would like to know. After all, I'm voting for her.

Check out my previous post:

In Search of Elizabeth Gray, Candidate for US President

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